Conversations are pleasant, discussions are interesting, debates are productive, but arguments are destructive. The difference between debates and arguments lies in whether you are dealing with the subject at hand or the personalities involved.
Whether it is in your personal or professional life, you will inevitably encounter a difference of opinion. This is not a bad thing. In fact, if you don’t frequently encounter a difference of opinion, either you have no opinion, the people around you have no opinion, or people are not feeling the freedom to express themselves.
In any event, conversation, discussion, and debate are positive. They can ignite people’s passions, their creativity, and bring their best ideas to the table; however, once it descends into an argument, there is a lot to be lost and little, if anything, to be gained.
Often, colleagues are put in a position to express differing opinions. There is a right way and a wrong way to carry on these dialogues.
Here are a few rules for keeping your conversation on a positive plane.
1. Be sure the time is appropriate for a debate. Don’t hijack people in the hall or catch someone rushing off to another commitment. Be sure there is time for a productive discussion.
2. Be sure that the setting is conducive to a good conversation. It should take place where all of the relevant parties can comfortably come together, and interruptions should be avoided. Whenever possible, non-involved parties should be excluded.
3. Everyone should agree on the matter to be discussed. Whenever possible, only one subject should be tackled at a time. Everyone should agree on what we are deciding, when the decision needs to be made, and what factors are involved in coming to a positive resolution.
4. Only one person should talk at a time. Interruptions are threatening and counterproductive when people are expressing opposite opinions. If necessary, establish a “magic pen,” which everyone agrees must be held in the hand of the individual speaking. No one talks unless they have the “magic pen.”
5. Agree that appropriate language will be used, everyone will be treated with respect, and the voice level will not be raised. If someone inadvertently violates this rule, calmly point it out and get back to the subject at hand.
6. Find out not only what people who oppose you feel but why they believe their position is best. Try to understand their position so you can repeat their argument to them. This will demonstrate respect and create clarity.
Remember, in an argument, there are only losers. In a productive debate or discussion, everyone can win.
As you go through your day today, find ways to include the collective wisdom of those around you by encouraging discussion and avoiding argument.
Today’s the day!
_________________
Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network, as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082, or by
e-mail at JimStovall@aol.com. Visit http://www.JimStovall.com
Jumat, 12 September 2008
I Am A Habit" By John Di Lemme
H-A-B-I-T...When 95% of people hear this word, a negative thought pops up in their minds. Typically, most people think of a habit being negative. The secret to your future lies in your daily habits so ask yourself right now, "Are my habits today going to help me achieve my WHY in life?" This is a life-empowering question if you truly ask it and listen for the answer.
I received the following excerpt from a very dear friend of mine and felt that it is definitely the best explanation of a habit that I have ever heard:
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me,
and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great men.
And, alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine.
Plus, the intelligence of a man.
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world at your feet.
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am a HABIT!
One of my daily habits that is the foundation of my life is spending 45-60 minutes each and every morning feeding my body physically by exercising and feeding my mental spirit by reading or listening to a motivational message. This habit warms me up for the day ahead. Everyone washes their physical body and feeds their body every morning, but 95% of people will find an excuse about why they can not find the "TIME" to invest in a habit of feeding their MINDS!
This parallels the statistic that 95% of people are dead or dead broke by the age 65. I consider this particular daily habit of mine to be the driving force behind my ability to consistently maintain my intense focus on the journey of success and living a dream life.
Is it easy all the time? Of course not, but when it becomes a habit – you will do it! If you commit today to begin each morning warming yourself up for the day ahead by feeding your mental spirit, your entire life will change in a positive fashion very quickly. It is like driving a race car with the emergency brake on and you try to go ahead, but you can’t move. You stay in the same location with your wheels spinning, burning up, making a lot of noise, but not going anywhere!
All it takes is to release the brake and you will fly towards toward your WHY in life!! You need to review what your habits are and ask yourself…“Would I recommend MY habits to someone I truly love and care about?” Your entire future lies in your daily habits—positive or negative. You have the most powerful force right now in your hands, the ability to decide what your habits will begin to be.
Find Your WHY & FLY!!
John Di Lemme
_______________
John Di Lemme was a 24-year-old stutterer working in his family art gallery that dreamed of becoming a world-renowned motivational speaker. Over a seven-year period of hardships, challenges and obstacles, John remained focused on his dream and ultimately built a massive marketing team of over 25,000 representatives in 10 countries and earned the financial freedom that he had always dreamed of. Visit his website
I received the following excerpt from a very dear friend of mine and felt that it is definitely the best explanation of a habit that I have ever heard:
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me,
and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great men.
And, alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine.
Plus, the intelligence of a man.
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world at your feet.
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am a HABIT!
One of my daily habits that is the foundation of my life is spending 45-60 minutes each and every morning feeding my body physically by exercising and feeding my mental spirit by reading or listening to a motivational message. This habit warms me up for the day ahead. Everyone washes their physical body and feeds their body every morning, but 95% of people will find an excuse about why they can not find the "TIME" to invest in a habit of feeding their MINDS!
This parallels the statistic that 95% of people are dead or dead broke by the age 65. I consider this particular daily habit of mine to be the driving force behind my ability to consistently maintain my intense focus on the journey of success and living a dream life.
Is it easy all the time? Of course not, but when it becomes a habit – you will do it! If you commit today to begin each morning warming yourself up for the day ahead by feeding your mental spirit, your entire life will change in a positive fashion very quickly. It is like driving a race car with the emergency brake on and you try to go ahead, but you can’t move. You stay in the same location with your wheels spinning, burning up, making a lot of noise, but not going anywhere!
All it takes is to release the brake and you will fly towards toward your WHY in life!! You need to review what your habits are and ask yourself…“Would I recommend MY habits to someone I truly love and care about?” Your entire future lies in your daily habits—positive or negative. You have the most powerful force right now in your hands, the ability to decide what your habits will begin to be.
Find Your WHY & FLY!!
John Di Lemme
_______________
John Di Lemme was a 24-year-old stutterer working in his family art gallery that dreamed of becoming a world-renowned motivational speaker. Over a seven-year period of hardships, challenges and obstacles, John remained focused on his dream and ultimately built a massive marketing team of over 25,000 representatives in 10 countries and earned the financial freedom that he had always dreamed of. Visit his website
Rain or Shine by Jim Stovall
A wise man once told me, “People who think that it is never going to rain again are destined to get very wet.” Whether it’s the stock market, your health, the weather, or the economic conditions, change is inevitable.
Success lies in creating a balance between planning for the best and preparing for the worst. There are some people that base everything in their personal and professional lives on a best case scenario.
Any minor bump in the road can cause these people to have a fatal crash. On the other hand, there are people who spend so much time planning for the proverbial rainy day that they never enjoy the sunshine.
Recently, I enjoyed a conference championship basketball game. One team was heavily favored, and they were way ahead with less than five minutes to go in the game. Their coach called time out and obviously changed their game plan.
When they came back out on the floor, they held the ball and stalled for time trying to run out the clock. Unfortunately for them, this talented team was great at shooting and scoring but was not good at this delay tactic. They turned the ball over to the other team a number of times and lost the game in overtime. It could be said that they became a victim of their own caution.
On the other hand, often a reasonable degree of caution can be an investment of a few pennies for a return of many dollars.
Recently, we installed a new computer system in our office. I will not bore you with the details as it would become immediately apparent that I know nothing about computers. The one important factor I do understand about this new computer is the dual safety backup system.
For a relatively modest cost, we can protect ourselves against losing information worth many thousands of dollars if, indeed, the information could even be replaced at all. In all situations we must weigh both the risk and the reward.
Sometimes, the choices can be literally life and death. This year I have realized one of my long-term goals as we are traveling for a number of my events in a private plane.
When making arrangements for our first trip, I noticed all of the expenses itemized in the contract. It listed fuel, airport charges, and the pilot’s fee. When I inquired about the cost of the co-pilot, I was told that they generally don’t provide one on private flights. When I found out the cost for the co-pilot was approximately $200, which represents a tiny fraction of the expense of traveling in a private plane, I let them know that I would always be traveling with a co-pilot. While the risk may be small, the consequences are permanent.
As you go through your day today, look for ways to both plan for the best and prepare for the worst.
Today’s the day!
_________________
Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network, as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082, or by
e-mail at JimStovall@aol.com. Visit http://www.JimStovall.com
Success lies in creating a balance between planning for the best and preparing for the worst. There are some people that base everything in their personal and professional lives on a best case scenario.
Any minor bump in the road can cause these people to have a fatal crash. On the other hand, there are people who spend so much time planning for the proverbial rainy day that they never enjoy the sunshine.
Recently, I enjoyed a conference championship basketball game. One team was heavily favored, and they were way ahead with less than five minutes to go in the game. Their coach called time out and obviously changed their game plan.
When they came back out on the floor, they held the ball and stalled for time trying to run out the clock. Unfortunately for them, this talented team was great at shooting and scoring but was not good at this delay tactic. They turned the ball over to the other team a number of times and lost the game in overtime. It could be said that they became a victim of their own caution.
On the other hand, often a reasonable degree of caution can be an investment of a few pennies for a return of many dollars.
Recently, we installed a new computer system in our office. I will not bore you with the details as it would become immediately apparent that I know nothing about computers. The one important factor I do understand about this new computer is the dual safety backup system.
For a relatively modest cost, we can protect ourselves against losing information worth many thousands of dollars if, indeed, the information could even be replaced at all. In all situations we must weigh both the risk and the reward.
Sometimes, the choices can be literally life and death. This year I have realized one of my long-term goals as we are traveling for a number of my events in a private plane.
When making arrangements for our first trip, I noticed all of the expenses itemized in the contract. It listed fuel, airport charges, and the pilot’s fee. When I inquired about the cost of the co-pilot, I was told that they generally don’t provide one on private flights. When I found out the cost for the co-pilot was approximately $200, which represents a tiny fraction of the expense of traveling in a private plane, I let them know that I would always be traveling with a co-pilot. While the risk may be small, the consequences are permanent.
As you go through your day today, look for ways to both plan for the best and prepare for the worst.
Today’s the day!
_________________
Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network, as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082, or by
e-mail at JimStovall@aol.com. Visit http://www.JimStovall.com
17 Words That Changed My Life Forever! By Jerry Clark
I remember several years back I heard something that changed my life forever. Up until that point I had been struggling through life – doing everything the hard way. I couldn’t figure out why my life wasn’t going the way I felt it should be.
I saw some people going through life effortlessly and seemingly with less tension and frustration while I was wondering if I could ever straighten out the mess my life had turned out to be. I was behind on my dreams, my promises, and my bills.
Then one day I was listening to a tape and the lady was talking about the power of having dreams and goals and all of the other stuff that those motivational speakers talk about. By that point I had listened to hundreds of such tapes, but it seemed as if nothing worked for me.
Probably the only reason I was listening to that one was because I had developed a habit of listening to cassette tapes while driving my car. The statement the lady said was simple and I think I had even heard it somewhere before but this time a light bulb went on in my head.
I remember stopping the tape and rewinding it over and over again to hear the 17 words she said. I couldn’t believe it was so basic and simple. I was looking for something sophisticated and complicated. I thought I had to attend a $10,000 seminar. I didn’t know I could find it on a $10 tape program.
I’m taking the time to tell you all of this preliminary information because when I tell you the 17 words, I really want you to get it and get it NOW! Because if you get it NOW, your life will never be the same. You will be using the same principle that all who have became wealthy before you have used.
Even those who became wealthy and can’t tell you how they did use this same principle without even being aware of what they are doing. Well, are you ready for the 17 words that made a powerful and positive impact on my life and on the life of tens of thousands of individuals who have achieved unimaginable success? Of course you are… Well, here they are…
For things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to. Yes, it’s as simple as it sounds and as easy as it seems… Don’t try to make it any complicated than this because it will only frustrate you.
You must know exactly what you want and the more specific and clear you can get, the better. This is important because Human Beings are Teleological in nature… In other words, we move towards the pictures we constantly hold in our minds. Let me give you an example… Suppose you went to the store and bought a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle but it didn’t have a picture on the box of what the end result should look like.
Would you have a much harder time putting the picture together? Of course. You may eventually figure it out; however, the person who has a clear picture of what the end result should look like will be more than 100 times ahead of you.
The question is are they 100 times ahead of you because their IQ is 100 times greater? Is it because they are 100 times better looking than you? Maybe it’s because they live 100 times closer to the person who created the puzzle? Ohh, I know – they were one of the first students to take the Evelyn Woods mind-expanding speed-reading and comprehension course right? If none of this is true then what it?
Yes, the person who had the clear and specific picture of what the outcome was supposed to be was simply operating in accordance to how our brain works. It moves towards the pictures we hold in our mind. It’s interesting because once you know exactly what it is you are moving towards, you seem to automatically know the steps to take or the necessary steps will soon become noticeable.
Your brain, operating similar to a magnet, will start to attract in your direction the conditions, people, and circumstances that will help you move closer to the mental picture you maintain in your mind and it will repel all of those things that do not correlate to the picture you have in your mind.
Therefore, the people who are clear and specific about what they want are using the powers of the Universe to assist them. This is, indeed, an awesome power. A person who knows how and uses this awesome power of the Universe to his or her advantage is a person who is working smart.
A person who struggles every day trying to move closer to the success that they have no idea how it’s supposed to look is a person who is working hard.
Based on your observations over the years, do you think that most people are working hard or working smart? People who just work hard day in and day out without a clear picture of what they are moving towards are about as exciting as a tulip.
Even though they may seem to be willing to work hard and put in the hours, they don’t seem to have much life in them. And people want to follow people who seem to have some life in them. If they want to find people who don’t seem to have much life in them, all they have to do is go to their job. People will follow people who look like they know where they are going and look like they are excited about the journey.
You must understand that your strength comes from knowing what you want. This will ignite the fire inside of you and enable you to borrow from the promise of the future so you can engage in the activities today that will move you closer and closer to what you want. It will enable you to go through the trials and tribulations that may be necessary so you can arrive at your destination.
But remember the journey will be more important than the destination because in the journey you will become the person you require to become to finally arrive at your destination. So when you reach your destination, look at the person you have become and set a new destination so you can continue to grow and develop.
Whatever you do, just always remember that for things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to. These are the 17 Words that Changed My Life Forever… Why not allow them to change yours too… Until Next time… Go, Go, Go!!!
_______________
Written by Jerry Clark. For more information on TSTN (The Success Training Network) and their world-renown faculty of success and achievement thought leaders visit TSTN - The world's only television network dedicated to success and achievement. Get the competitive advantage in life - Subscribe to TSTN!
I saw some people going through life effortlessly and seemingly with less tension and frustration while I was wondering if I could ever straighten out the mess my life had turned out to be. I was behind on my dreams, my promises, and my bills.
Then one day I was listening to a tape and the lady was talking about the power of having dreams and goals and all of the other stuff that those motivational speakers talk about. By that point I had listened to hundreds of such tapes, but it seemed as if nothing worked for me.
Probably the only reason I was listening to that one was because I had developed a habit of listening to cassette tapes while driving my car. The statement the lady said was simple and I think I had even heard it somewhere before but this time a light bulb went on in my head.
I remember stopping the tape and rewinding it over and over again to hear the 17 words she said. I couldn’t believe it was so basic and simple. I was looking for something sophisticated and complicated. I thought I had to attend a $10,000 seminar. I didn’t know I could find it on a $10 tape program.
I’m taking the time to tell you all of this preliminary information because when I tell you the 17 words, I really want you to get it and get it NOW! Because if you get it NOW, your life will never be the same. You will be using the same principle that all who have became wealthy before you have used.
Even those who became wealthy and can’t tell you how they did use this same principle without even being aware of what they are doing. Well, are you ready for the 17 words that made a powerful and positive impact on my life and on the life of tens of thousands of individuals who have achieved unimaginable success? Of course you are… Well, here they are…
For things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to. Yes, it’s as simple as it sounds and as easy as it seems… Don’t try to make it any complicated than this because it will only frustrate you.
You must know exactly what you want and the more specific and clear you can get, the better. This is important because Human Beings are Teleological in nature… In other words, we move towards the pictures we constantly hold in our minds. Let me give you an example… Suppose you went to the store and bought a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle but it didn’t have a picture on the box of what the end result should look like.
Would you have a much harder time putting the picture together? Of course. You may eventually figure it out; however, the person who has a clear picture of what the end result should look like will be more than 100 times ahead of you.
The question is are they 100 times ahead of you because their IQ is 100 times greater? Is it because they are 100 times better looking than you? Maybe it’s because they live 100 times closer to the person who created the puzzle? Ohh, I know – they were one of the first students to take the Evelyn Woods mind-expanding speed-reading and comprehension course right? If none of this is true then what it?
Yes, the person who had the clear and specific picture of what the outcome was supposed to be was simply operating in accordance to how our brain works. It moves towards the pictures we hold in our mind. It’s interesting because once you know exactly what it is you are moving towards, you seem to automatically know the steps to take or the necessary steps will soon become noticeable.
Your brain, operating similar to a magnet, will start to attract in your direction the conditions, people, and circumstances that will help you move closer to the mental picture you maintain in your mind and it will repel all of those things that do not correlate to the picture you have in your mind.
Therefore, the people who are clear and specific about what they want are using the powers of the Universe to assist them. This is, indeed, an awesome power. A person who knows how and uses this awesome power of the Universe to his or her advantage is a person who is working smart.
A person who struggles every day trying to move closer to the success that they have no idea how it’s supposed to look is a person who is working hard.
Based on your observations over the years, do you think that most people are working hard or working smart? People who just work hard day in and day out without a clear picture of what they are moving towards are about as exciting as a tulip.
Even though they may seem to be willing to work hard and put in the hours, they don’t seem to have much life in them. And people want to follow people who seem to have some life in them. If they want to find people who don’t seem to have much life in them, all they have to do is go to their job. People will follow people who look like they know where they are going and look like they are excited about the journey.
You must understand that your strength comes from knowing what you want. This will ignite the fire inside of you and enable you to borrow from the promise of the future so you can engage in the activities today that will move you closer and closer to what you want. It will enable you to go through the trials and tribulations that may be necessary so you can arrive at your destination.
But remember the journey will be more important than the destination because in the journey you will become the person you require to become to finally arrive at your destination. So when you reach your destination, look at the person you have become and set a new destination so you can continue to grow and develop.
Whatever you do, just always remember that for things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to. These are the 17 Words that Changed My Life Forever… Why not allow them to change yours too… Until Next time… Go, Go, Go!!!
_______________
Written by Jerry Clark. For more information on TSTN (The Success Training Network) and their world-renown faculty of success and achievement thought leaders visit TSTN - The world's only television network dedicated to success and achievement. Get the competitive advantage in life - Subscribe to TSTN!
Be Your Own Hero By Robin Sharma
So many of us have heroes. Leaders, artists or entreprenuers that inspire us. People who have made an impact, people who have shown us a better way, people who have overcome outrageous odds.
Yet, the interesting insight about heroes is that they have the human imperfections and weaknesses that we do. They have their bad days, they feel despair, they get knocked down (in fact, heroes get knocked down more than the rest of us).
Yet, in spite of their human frailties, heroes find a way to change the world.
Here's my challenge to you -- be your own hero. Ask yourself, what would it take for me to show up in the world like my heroes?
You may never discover a life changing medicine, invent a best-in-class product or win the World Cup. But, you can show up every day with discipline, compassion and extraordinary commitment.
So, in your journal, go through the following steps and take the hero's journey.
1. List three to five of your heros.
2. For each hero write down the traits that you admire. Is it Steve Nash's selflessness on the court? Is it Martin Luther King's commitment to civil rights? Is it Richard Branson's vison?
3. Then translate these traits into your life. Can you be more selfless at work? Can you make an unshakeable commitment to doing the right thing? Can you create a powerful vision for your life and pursue it?
4. Write these traits down on a card or better yet on a picture of that hero. Remind yourself to act like that hero. This way your hero becomes your mentor -- even if you'll never meet them.
5. Then go into your days and live like the hero you are.
_______________
Robin S. Sharma, LL.M. is an internationally-known speaker on sales leadership, peak performance and creativity. The bestselling author of several motivational books including MegaLiving, he is the managing partner of Sharma Leadership International. He can be reached at RobinSharma.com
Yet, the interesting insight about heroes is that they have the human imperfections and weaknesses that we do. They have their bad days, they feel despair, they get knocked down (in fact, heroes get knocked down more than the rest of us).
Yet, in spite of their human frailties, heroes find a way to change the world.
Here's my challenge to you -- be your own hero. Ask yourself, what would it take for me to show up in the world like my heroes?
You may never discover a life changing medicine, invent a best-in-class product or win the World Cup. But, you can show up every day with discipline, compassion and extraordinary commitment.
So, in your journal, go through the following steps and take the hero's journey.
1. List three to five of your heros.
2. For each hero write down the traits that you admire. Is it Steve Nash's selflessness on the court? Is it Martin Luther King's commitment to civil rights? Is it Richard Branson's vison?
3. Then translate these traits into your life. Can you be more selfless at work? Can you make an unshakeable commitment to doing the right thing? Can you create a powerful vision for your life and pursue it?
4. Write these traits down on a card or better yet on a picture of that hero. Remind yourself to act like that hero. This way your hero becomes your mentor -- even if you'll never meet them.
5. Then go into your days and live like the hero you are.
_______________
Robin S. Sharma, LL.M. is an internationally-known speaker on sales leadership, peak performance and creativity. The bestselling author of several motivational books including MegaLiving, he is the managing partner of Sharma Leadership International. He can be reached at RobinSharma.com
Selasa, 02 September 2008
Seeing Life through Gratitude Glasses By Lori Radun
Your boss calls you in his office today and hands you a $2500.00 bonus check because the company had a good year. Are you thankful?
You go in for your 20 week ultrasound. As you watch your growing baby on the screen, the doctor informs you that everything looks great. Your baby boy is healthy. Are you thankful?
Your husband comes home with a dozen roses. He remembered your anniversary! Are you thankful?
Of course you are. It's easy to be thankful when everything is going great. When we're on top of the mountain, and we're having a beautiful day and our blessings are easy to see, we are thankful. And we should be.
As you sit across from your attorney, he informs you that bankruptcy is your only recourse. Your dream and your business are going down the tubes. Are you thankful?
You and your husband have been going through a rough time in your marriage for over two years. You barely speak to one another anymore. Are you thankful?
If you answered yes to these last two scenarios, you are way ahead of most people. It is not easy to be thankful when we're sitting in the valley. When life seems to be handing us a bunch of lemons, we usually feel bitter or victimized.
Let's assume there is a new product out on the market. You can pick up a pair of "gratitude glasses" at Target for $19.99. These glasses enable you to see life in a whole different way. Here are some of the benefits you can expect from these "gratitude glasses".
There are no problems.
With these glasses, you have no problems in your life. Everything in your life is an opportunity. When we perceive life through our fears, unpaid bills and conflict, for instance, become problems or challenges. However, these glasses enable us to see life with loving eyes. The unpaid bills are an opportunity to learn more about financial responsibility. Conflict is an opportunity to learn how to love more deeply.
There are no mistakes.
With the gratitude glasses, mistakes disappear. These glasses help us understand that we are doing the best we can at any given moment, and so is everyone else. We all make decisions based on who we are at the time. Instead of viewing choices as "mistakes", why not look at them as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and other people?
There are no annoying people.
Put on the gratitude glasses and suddenly all the annoying people in your life become your friends. You've heard the saying, "Mean people need love." Your new glasses now give you the ability to release your anger and understand the annoying people on a much deeper level. You begin to appreciate your differences and the judgments disappear. Your love begins to transform not only you, but others as well.
Change is good.
You pick up your gratitude glasses and put them on, and suddenly you embrace change. You are thankful that life does not always happen as planned. You stop trying to control life, and instead let life unfold. Change is exciting, fear of the unknown is gone, and you can't wait to see what happens next. Your faith is strong and unstoppable.
Pain has a purpose.
Whether it is physical or emotional pain, it's hard to go through life without experiencing it. But with your gratitude glasses, you see that your pain has a purpose. Your physical pain tells you that something in your mind or body is not working well. Your emotional pain is a wake up call to the transformation that is possible. Without the valleys, we cannot appreciate the mountain tops.
These inexpensive "gratitude glasses" offer so many more benefits, but what if you only received these five advantages? Would you purchase the glasses? Would you wear your gratitude glasses all the time? What if I told you the glasses were yours for free? All you have to do is shift your energy by changing your thoughts.
When we allow ourselves to wallow in victim and fighting thoughts, our brains release catabolic hormones that are destructive to our entire physical system, and ultimately, our success. By wearing your "gratitude glasses" you shift your thoughts to positive and constructive ones. Thinking thoughts of thankfulness and love makes an energetic shift in your mind and body, and the results will be astonishing.
A life coach just gave you a different way to look at life. Are you thankful?
You go in for your 20 week ultrasound. As you watch your growing baby on the screen, the doctor informs you that everything looks great. Your baby boy is healthy. Are you thankful?
Your husband comes home with a dozen roses. He remembered your anniversary! Are you thankful?
Of course you are. It's easy to be thankful when everything is going great. When we're on top of the mountain, and we're having a beautiful day and our blessings are easy to see, we are thankful. And we should be.
As you sit across from your attorney, he informs you that bankruptcy is your only recourse. Your dream and your business are going down the tubes. Are you thankful?
You and your husband have been going through a rough time in your marriage for over two years. You barely speak to one another anymore. Are you thankful?
If you answered yes to these last two scenarios, you are way ahead of most people. It is not easy to be thankful when we're sitting in the valley. When life seems to be handing us a bunch of lemons, we usually feel bitter or victimized.
Let's assume there is a new product out on the market. You can pick up a pair of "gratitude glasses" at Target for $19.99. These glasses enable you to see life in a whole different way. Here are some of the benefits you can expect from these "gratitude glasses".
There are no problems.
With these glasses, you have no problems in your life. Everything in your life is an opportunity. When we perceive life through our fears, unpaid bills and conflict, for instance, become problems or challenges. However, these glasses enable us to see life with loving eyes. The unpaid bills are an opportunity to learn more about financial responsibility. Conflict is an opportunity to learn how to love more deeply.
There are no mistakes.
With the gratitude glasses, mistakes disappear. These glasses help us understand that we are doing the best we can at any given moment, and so is everyone else. We all make decisions based on who we are at the time. Instead of viewing choices as "mistakes", why not look at them as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and other people?
There are no annoying people.
Put on the gratitude glasses and suddenly all the annoying people in your life become your friends. You've heard the saying, "Mean people need love." Your new glasses now give you the ability to release your anger and understand the annoying people on a much deeper level. You begin to appreciate your differences and the judgments disappear. Your love begins to transform not only you, but others as well.
Change is good.
You pick up your gratitude glasses and put them on, and suddenly you embrace change. You are thankful that life does not always happen as planned. You stop trying to control life, and instead let life unfold. Change is exciting, fear of the unknown is gone, and you can't wait to see what happens next. Your faith is strong and unstoppable.
Pain has a purpose.
Whether it is physical or emotional pain, it's hard to go through life without experiencing it. But with your gratitude glasses, you see that your pain has a purpose. Your physical pain tells you that something in your mind or body is not working well. Your emotional pain is a wake up call to the transformation that is possible. Without the valleys, we cannot appreciate the mountain tops.
These inexpensive "gratitude glasses" offer so many more benefits, but what if you only received these five advantages? Would you purchase the glasses? Would you wear your gratitude glasses all the time? What if I told you the glasses were yours for free? All you have to do is shift your energy by changing your thoughts.
When we allow ourselves to wallow in victim and fighting thoughts, our brains release catabolic hormones that are destructive to our entire physical system, and ultimately, our success. By wearing your "gratitude glasses" you shift your thoughts to positive and constructive ones. Thinking thoughts of thankfulness and love makes an energetic shift in your mind and body, and the results will be astonishing.
A life coach just gave you a different way to look at life. Are you thankful?
How to get more out of life
Do you know that by being aware of, and by directing your thoughts you can accomplish more in months that you did in the past few years?
Are you not where you want to be in your life? You want joy and success, yet you can’t seem to get any closer to having that wonderful life, even after years of trying?
Let me ask you, have you heard these two statements before: ‘It’s all in the mind’ or ‘Stop thinking you are sick and you’ll feel better.’ Consider these statements for a minute. Do you think there is any truth in them? Sure there is. That’s the power of thought in action. Stop thinking you’re sick and sure enough you will feel and become better.
The thoughts that you hold in your mind are preventing you from living a blissful life. Your moment-by-moment thoughts shape your life, your destiny.
Everything and anything in your world and mine happens as a result of the power of our thoughts. When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone it was first a thought. Colonel Sanders first thought of the idea of his chicken recipe. Walt Disney first had the thought of a massive fairground. They all started as thoughts. Action followed. But they all began as a thought.
Look at your simple day-to-day events. You think about getting out of bed. You think about what to have for lunch, what clothes to wear, to remember to take your umbrella. Every step of your life is preceded by a thought. Everything you do is directed by your thoughts.
Your core thoughts that you have held over the years form your life. These ‘inner’ thoughts create your present and future ‘outer’ world. In other words, your thoughts affect your circumstances.
Since your thoughts affect your life and what you think about materialises, it goes to say that it is crucial that you mind your thoughts; that you keep a watchful eye on your moment-by-moment thoughts.
If someone constantly talks about their lack of money, or that they cannot afford to buy this or that, for example, then their prime thoughts are, ‘I don’t have enough money in my life.’ And since lacking money is their main thought and focus, they will continue to lack money. The same goes for lacking self-confidence. If they walk around saying ‘I can’t do this or that’, then they will remain where they are in their life; unable to progress because they have no self-confidence. That’s the way the brain works. What you focus on happens.
Things do not improve until you change your thoughts. You need to change your thinking patterns.
Your financial situation will change when you take full control of your life by establishing new empowering money thoughts. You will take action by having the thoughts that drive you to take action. Similarly, you will have joy in your life when you adopt the happiness thought patterns.
You create your circumstances with your thoughts. Your thoughts are creating something every moment of every day. And the scary thing that you must realise is that most events, outcomes and circumstances are created unconsciously; without any awareness or conscious effort on your part.
How did that come about? If you progressed through life saying statements like, ‘I’ll never be rich’ ‘I don’t deserve this’ ‘Life sucks’ ‘Life is just one pain after the next’ ‘I can’t do this,’ you have created thoughts that you will never have any money, that you will remain unhappy in your life and stay stuck where you are now.
When you question yourself later in life why you feel unconfident in certain situations, or why your finances have not improved, you will have forgotten that you programmed yourself not to feel confident or to have any money years ago.
Then no matter what you do at a conscious level, irrespective of how much you want to be rich, live a joyful life, or be a success, your core, unconscious thoughts dictate the opposite, which is your reality.
The core thoughts you hold bring about circumstances in your life that are in complete opposition to what it is you want in your life.
Instead of being oblivious of the power of thoughts, you can choose to have the thoughts than will change all that, so you may truly live the life you desire. And you do so by reprogramming your thoughts.
Instead of lacking money to do what you want or have, instead of not having the motivation to get ahead in life, you can replace these harmful thoughts with powerful thoughts that can give you all that you desire in life and more in a short period of time.
Always keep in mind your unconscious thought patterns dictate every aspect of your life. Take charge of your unconscious, core, habitual thoughts now. You deserve to live a happy and successful life.
Are you not where you want to be in your life? You want joy and success, yet you can’t seem to get any closer to having that wonderful life, even after years of trying?
Let me ask you, have you heard these two statements before: ‘It’s all in the mind’ or ‘Stop thinking you are sick and you’ll feel better.’ Consider these statements for a minute. Do you think there is any truth in them? Sure there is. That’s the power of thought in action. Stop thinking you’re sick and sure enough you will feel and become better.
The thoughts that you hold in your mind are preventing you from living a blissful life. Your moment-by-moment thoughts shape your life, your destiny.
Everything and anything in your world and mine happens as a result of the power of our thoughts. When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone it was first a thought. Colonel Sanders first thought of the idea of his chicken recipe. Walt Disney first had the thought of a massive fairground. They all started as thoughts. Action followed. But they all began as a thought.
Look at your simple day-to-day events. You think about getting out of bed. You think about what to have for lunch, what clothes to wear, to remember to take your umbrella. Every step of your life is preceded by a thought. Everything you do is directed by your thoughts.
Your core thoughts that you have held over the years form your life. These ‘inner’ thoughts create your present and future ‘outer’ world. In other words, your thoughts affect your circumstances.
Since your thoughts affect your life and what you think about materialises, it goes to say that it is crucial that you mind your thoughts; that you keep a watchful eye on your moment-by-moment thoughts.
If someone constantly talks about their lack of money, or that they cannot afford to buy this or that, for example, then their prime thoughts are, ‘I don’t have enough money in my life.’ And since lacking money is their main thought and focus, they will continue to lack money. The same goes for lacking self-confidence. If they walk around saying ‘I can’t do this or that’, then they will remain where they are in their life; unable to progress because they have no self-confidence. That’s the way the brain works. What you focus on happens.
Things do not improve until you change your thoughts. You need to change your thinking patterns.
Your financial situation will change when you take full control of your life by establishing new empowering money thoughts. You will take action by having the thoughts that drive you to take action. Similarly, you will have joy in your life when you adopt the happiness thought patterns.
You create your circumstances with your thoughts. Your thoughts are creating something every moment of every day. And the scary thing that you must realise is that most events, outcomes and circumstances are created unconsciously; without any awareness or conscious effort on your part.
How did that come about? If you progressed through life saying statements like, ‘I’ll never be rich’ ‘I don’t deserve this’ ‘Life sucks’ ‘Life is just one pain after the next’ ‘I can’t do this,’ you have created thoughts that you will never have any money, that you will remain unhappy in your life and stay stuck where you are now.
When you question yourself later in life why you feel unconfident in certain situations, or why your finances have not improved, you will have forgotten that you programmed yourself not to feel confident or to have any money years ago.
Then no matter what you do at a conscious level, irrespective of how much you want to be rich, live a joyful life, or be a success, your core, unconscious thoughts dictate the opposite, which is your reality.
The core thoughts you hold bring about circumstances in your life that are in complete opposition to what it is you want in your life.
Instead of being oblivious of the power of thoughts, you can choose to have the thoughts than will change all that, so you may truly live the life you desire. And you do so by reprogramming your thoughts.
Instead of lacking money to do what you want or have, instead of not having the motivation to get ahead in life, you can replace these harmful thoughts with powerful thoughts that can give you all that you desire in life and more in a short period of time.
Always keep in mind your unconscious thought patterns dictate every aspect of your life. Take charge of your unconscious, core, habitual thoughts now. You deserve to live a happy and successful life.
Power, Evolution, And Personal Responsibility By Roy E. Klienwachter
I often write about the personal power that every one of us has access to. Because we are God manifested in the human body, our power is limitless, yet we seldom demonstrate that power - why is that?
The power that we are is really controlled by personal responsibility and our own evolution. The more responsible we become for our individualized existences the more we evolve and the greater access we have to our power to create and manifest all that we desire.
There are safety protocols built into our being which do not allow access to our power until we are ready to use it beneficially. It has been clearly demonstrated over time what happens to individuals who have greater access to their own power. They will eventually destroy themselves, drunken and disillusioned on a high that leads nowhere. On an uncontrollable quest to reach the top, they forget that the top only leads down. Of course we all determine what the top is. If we are earth bond by our limited thinking then all the extra power takes us to the end much faster.
The power of the creator is not limited to this planet; our power is boundless. So if we are thinking about racing a Ferrari in a shopping mall parking lot, it can have only dire consequences. Maturity and responsibility are essential ingredients in using power. Of the six billion people on earth, there are very few who will even realize a minuscule experience of their own power.
Because we think as a physical being and ignore the greater part of who we are, we ignore spirit or at best we pass this awareness and its consequences off to religion. Because humanity is inherently aware of this aspect of self and its awesome ramifications, he limits himself spiritually, out of fear. It may be likened to having a nuclear bomb in your basement that is large enough to destroy the entire world - what do you do with it? The responsibility for having this devise would be overwhelming for most of us. So instead of creating new worlds, we settle for just trying to survive in this one and we are terrified of our own power and what we are capable of.
Humanity is long overdue for change. It absolutely blows me away to know that only a 100 years ago, we were using horse drawn carts, kerosene lanterns, and telegraph. Considering that there is evidence to show that man has been on this planet for more than a million years; why are we so slow? There is also evidence to show that technology destroyed him at least three times. How much technology does he need to evolve on this very small planet? The fact is that man has demonstrated over the millennia that he needs very little technology to survive and proliferate. It is because most of the technology that we develop worldwide is for the military. Is this the mark of a highly developed species? The potential for human growth is overwhelming when one stops to think about it. All of us have many different powers yet undeveloped that can be used for the benefit of man rather than its destruction. But we are not developing them. In fact there are many who deny they even exist in spite of the evidence to the contrary.
What we don't understand, we fear or deny and what we deny can never be. We must accept the probability of any event before we can begin to develop or create it. Mankind has clearly shown that he has the ability to reach beyond his present conditions and create what he dreams of. But he still creates within the limitations of his very small world and within a philosophy of separation from his enormous personal power and what he truly is.
The laws by which he lives are based in primitive faiths and religions that are designed to limit him physically and spiritually. This limitation only benefits those who would keep him limited and dependent, and that is not the true nature of man. Although humanity tries to find order, he also finds way to escape from it, because that is also his nature.
It is now time for humanity to look to the individual to develop his/her own power. It is also time for man to see its differences as opportunities to evolve into something new and better. Assimilation only works for those who would assimilate and control. Diversification of thought and opinion and the ability to make them work will lead man out of the limited box he now finds himself in. Each new generation brings new opportunities to move from our comfort zones.
Although we may not feel comfortable with new ideas, there are those who do not feel comfortable with the old ones. It is within the blending of both that a new mix begins to evolve and it slowly moves us forward; and this appears to be how it works. But it is within the awareness of this process that we can start to move forward without the fear of loosing or being lost. It is also within the experience of the process that we will find the greatest pleasure, security and satisfaction.
This whole process will create better results when we live within the knowledge of the potential of our personal power to create what we desire and change what we do not. We will have access to greater power when we first acknowledge that we do not need anyone's permission to use it and we do not need to fear it. We are responsible for only one life and we are stewards of the rest because it works in our best interest to be. It is our personal responsibility to offer our own unique perspective to others and to protect theirs because a single idea is limited and dies easily.
It is your responsibility to develop yourself into the best you can be, and share your wisdom and experience so that others will benefit; so that you will benefit from their wisdom and experience. This not only benefits the body but also the spirit, because it is the nature of the spirit to experience all things physical. It is how it defines and knows itself through you. In the world of the absolute, there is only a single experience and that cannot be experienced without the experience of everything else.
Our only purpose for being here is to make things up and experience them. Therefore a single experience is death for the spirit and for the physical body. Develop the mind, the body and use your power to create something new and worthy of the choice you made to experience the physical world. To develop oneself spiritually, it does not mean that you do it religiously. Religion is a box and only a step in spiritual awareness, not the other way around. You do not develop yourself religiously to become spiritual. You are already spiritual by nature - that is who and what you are. Everything that you do is spiritual. It is within the knowledge of your true nature that you must be responsible, powerful, and evolve to the next level of awareness and experience. You must move beyond your five senses - that is the future of humanity. The five senses gave man a foothold in the physical world, but it is his other senses that will take him from his primitive state. If man is to stop walking on his knuckles and move towards the fire, he must break away from his limiting thoughts and those who would keep him there. It is a bright new future that those of the past and present, will come back to experience more than once.
The truth is; you are creating your future now, and you will return to experience it. Imagine yourself moving to the top of the mountain, and that is where you will find yourself.
The power that we are is really controlled by personal responsibility and our own evolution. The more responsible we become for our individualized existences the more we evolve and the greater access we have to our power to create and manifest all that we desire.
There are safety protocols built into our being which do not allow access to our power until we are ready to use it beneficially. It has been clearly demonstrated over time what happens to individuals who have greater access to their own power. They will eventually destroy themselves, drunken and disillusioned on a high that leads nowhere. On an uncontrollable quest to reach the top, they forget that the top only leads down. Of course we all determine what the top is. If we are earth bond by our limited thinking then all the extra power takes us to the end much faster.
The power of the creator is not limited to this planet; our power is boundless. So if we are thinking about racing a Ferrari in a shopping mall parking lot, it can have only dire consequences. Maturity and responsibility are essential ingredients in using power. Of the six billion people on earth, there are very few who will even realize a minuscule experience of their own power.
Because we think as a physical being and ignore the greater part of who we are, we ignore spirit or at best we pass this awareness and its consequences off to religion. Because humanity is inherently aware of this aspect of self and its awesome ramifications, he limits himself spiritually, out of fear. It may be likened to having a nuclear bomb in your basement that is large enough to destroy the entire world - what do you do with it? The responsibility for having this devise would be overwhelming for most of us. So instead of creating new worlds, we settle for just trying to survive in this one and we are terrified of our own power and what we are capable of.
Humanity is long overdue for change. It absolutely blows me away to know that only a 100 years ago, we were using horse drawn carts, kerosene lanterns, and telegraph. Considering that there is evidence to show that man has been on this planet for more than a million years; why are we so slow? There is also evidence to show that technology destroyed him at least three times. How much technology does he need to evolve on this very small planet? The fact is that man has demonstrated over the millennia that he needs very little technology to survive and proliferate. It is because most of the technology that we develop worldwide is for the military. Is this the mark of a highly developed species? The potential for human growth is overwhelming when one stops to think about it. All of us have many different powers yet undeveloped that can be used for the benefit of man rather than its destruction. But we are not developing them. In fact there are many who deny they even exist in spite of the evidence to the contrary.
What we don't understand, we fear or deny and what we deny can never be. We must accept the probability of any event before we can begin to develop or create it. Mankind has clearly shown that he has the ability to reach beyond his present conditions and create what he dreams of. But he still creates within the limitations of his very small world and within a philosophy of separation from his enormous personal power and what he truly is.
The laws by which he lives are based in primitive faiths and religions that are designed to limit him physically and spiritually. This limitation only benefits those who would keep him limited and dependent, and that is not the true nature of man. Although humanity tries to find order, he also finds way to escape from it, because that is also his nature.
It is now time for humanity to look to the individual to develop his/her own power. It is also time for man to see its differences as opportunities to evolve into something new and better. Assimilation only works for those who would assimilate and control. Diversification of thought and opinion and the ability to make them work will lead man out of the limited box he now finds himself in. Each new generation brings new opportunities to move from our comfort zones.
Although we may not feel comfortable with new ideas, there are those who do not feel comfortable with the old ones. It is within the blending of both that a new mix begins to evolve and it slowly moves us forward; and this appears to be how it works. But it is within the awareness of this process that we can start to move forward without the fear of loosing or being lost. It is also within the experience of the process that we will find the greatest pleasure, security and satisfaction.
This whole process will create better results when we live within the knowledge of the potential of our personal power to create what we desire and change what we do not. We will have access to greater power when we first acknowledge that we do not need anyone's permission to use it and we do not need to fear it. We are responsible for only one life and we are stewards of the rest because it works in our best interest to be. It is our personal responsibility to offer our own unique perspective to others and to protect theirs because a single idea is limited and dies easily.
It is your responsibility to develop yourself into the best you can be, and share your wisdom and experience so that others will benefit; so that you will benefit from their wisdom and experience. This not only benefits the body but also the spirit, because it is the nature of the spirit to experience all things physical. It is how it defines and knows itself through you. In the world of the absolute, there is only a single experience and that cannot be experienced without the experience of everything else.
Our only purpose for being here is to make things up and experience them. Therefore a single experience is death for the spirit and for the physical body. Develop the mind, the body and use your power to create something new and worthy of the choice you made to experience the physical world. To develop oneself spiritually, it does not mean that you do it religiously. Religion is a box and only a step in spiritual awareness, not the other way around. You do not develop yourself religiously to become spiritual. You are already spiritual by nature - that is who and what you are. Everything that you do is spiritual. It is within the knowledge of your true nature that you must be responsible, powerful, and evolve to the next level of awareness and experience. You must move beyond your five senses - that is the future of humanity. The five senses gave man a foothold in the physical world, but it is his other senses that will take him from his primitive state. If man is to stop walking on his knuckles and move towards the fire, he must break away from his limiting thoughts and those who would keep him there. It is a bright new future that those of the past and present, will come back to experience more than once.
The truth is; you are creating your future now, and you will return to experience it. Imagine yourself moving to the top of the mountain, and that is where you will find yourself.
Effective Strategies For That You Can Start Using Today
Motivation is a word used to refer to the reason or reasons for engaging in a particular behavior, especially human behavior as studied in psychology and neurophysiology. Intrinsic motivation is when people engage in an activity, such as a hobby, with a internal desire, without obvious external incentives. Extrinsic motivation refers to motivation that comes from outside an individual, such as a reward or a good grade. Extrinsic motivation is often effective. If you want to make positive, lasting change in your life, it helps to spend some time thinking about motivation.
*Students
Students perform with higher motivation when their creativity is engaged. Students find as satisfying as reasoning through a problem and discovering the underlying principle on their own. Students are individuals, so a variety of approaches may be needed to motivate different students.
Because students are not always internally motivated, they sometimes need situated motivation, which is found in environmental conditions that the teacher creates. Fortunately, many of the strategies that "empower" and "engage" students also lead to increased motivation.
*Job
Motivated employees always look for better ways to do a job. Performance is considered to be a function of ability and motivation, thus: Job performance equals ability/motivation). The key words are the ones which say thanks and well done for doing a great job, especially where the words recognize each person's own special ability, quality, contribution and effort. No one knows the job better than the person performing it.
*Personal
Personal growth adds value to the individual, enhancing self-esteem and self-worth. Self-actualized people are characterized by: 1) being problem-focused; 2) incorporating an ongoing freshness of appreciation of life; 3) a concern about personal growth; and 4) the ability to have peak experiences.
Experiencing the positive feelings is vital for the conscious and sub-conscious visualization of success and achievement, essential for broadening people's horizons, raising their sights, setting new personal standards and goals, and increasing motivation.
The theory is that behavior motivated by an internal desire is more likely to be long-term and more likely to be integrated into your personality than is behavior that is motivated by some external reward. People are best motivated when they are working toward personally meaningful goals whose attainment requires activity at a continuously optimal (intermediate) level of difficulty.
*Goals
Goal Setting is extremely important to motivation and success. Goal-setting theory is based on the notion that individuals sometimes have a drive to reach a clearly defined end state. The goal should be objectively defined and intelligible for the individual. Set well defined goals and reward yourself for reaching them. Start with small goals that lead to larger goals.
*Conclusion
Motivation to achieve is a function of the individual's desire for success, the expectancy of success, and the incentives provided. Sure, it's possible to succeed with someone else providing the motivation for you. But motivation that comes from within really makes the difference.
The elements of motivation starts with the desire to be free, to be free from dependency on others, freedom to live the lifestyle we dream of, and freedom to explore our ideas. Every day seek inspiration, and it will help sustain motivation over the long term.
*Students
Students perform with higher motivation when their creativity is engaged. Students find as satisfying as reasoning through a problem and discovering the underlying principle on their own. Students are individuals, so a variety of approaches may be needed to motivate different students.
Because students are not always internally motivated, they sometimes need situated motivation, which is found in environmental conditions that the teacher creates. Fortunately, many of the strategies that "empower" and "engage" students also lead to increased motivation.
*Job
Motivated employees always look for better ways to do a job. Performance is considered to be a function of ability and motivation, thus: Job performance equals ability/motivation). The key words are the ones which say thanks and well done for doing a great job, especially where the words recognize each person's own special ability, quality, contribution and effort. No one knows the job better than the person performing it.
*Personal
Personal growth adds value to the individual, enhancing self-esteem and self-worth. Self-actualized people are characterized by: 1) being problem-focused; 2) incorporating an ongoing freshness of appreciation of life; 3) a concern about personal growth; and 4) the ability to have peak experiences.
Experiencing the positive feelings is vital for the conscious and sub-conscious visualization of success and achievement, essential for broadening people's horizons, raising their sights, setting new personal standards and goals, and increasing motivation.
The theory is that behavior motivated by an internal desire is more likely to be long-term and more likely to be integrated into your personality than is behavior that is motivated by some external reward. People are best motivated when they are working toward personally meaningful goals whose attainment requires activity at a continuously optimal (intermediate) level of difficulty.
*Goals
Goal Setting is extremely important to motivation and success. Goal-setting theory is based on the notion that individuals sometimes have a drive to reach a clearly defined end state. The goal should be objectively defined and intelligible for the individual. Set well defined goals and reward yourself for reaching them. Start with small goals that lead to larger goals.
*Conclusion
Motivation to achieve is a function of the individual's desire for success, the expectancy of success, and the incentives provided. Sure, it's possible to succeed with someone else providing the motivation for you. But motivation that comes from within really makes the difference.
The elements of motivation starts with the desire to be free, to be free from dependency on others, freedom to live the lifestyle we dream of, and freedom to explore our ideas. Every day seek inspiration, and it will help sustain motivation over the long term.
Don't Let Negativity Bring Your Dreams Down By Matt Belock
Do you have a dream of being successful, of being a success? Are you passionate about this dream? Does this dream seem possible and doable to you? Do you refuse to allow anything to stand in the way of your dream? What about other people? Are they trying to stand in your way? Are they trying to stomp on your dream of being successful?
What does it mean for others to stomp on your dreams? Stomping on your dreams is just a catchy phrase that means that others are trying to voice their negative thoughts and feelings to discourage you from going after your dream of success. These people may be people who love you. These may be actual caring family members.
These caring people may feel that they are trying to help you and that they are trying to keep you from getting hurt, whether this is an emotional or a real physical hurt. They may feel justified. But no matter how justified their thinking may be, their thinking is negative. Negative thinking will get you nowhere and it will get you there fast.
Think about it. How will you feel years from now if you do not allow yourself to chase that dream that will bring you success? Will you feel like you are a failure? Will you feel like you have missed out on something or that you missed out on the life you should have had?
Success can be yours. Your dream can be yours. But you must first look within yourself. You must have the faith to go after that dream. You must be able to back up that faith with the hard work it will take to fulfill it.
You should also have a plan that will help set you onto the right road toward success. This road is one you can travel as you slowly grow and slowly head closer to that desired success. By traveling this road and achieving small successes along the way, you should be able to ignore those negative people and those negative thoughts even better because you will be stronger.
Yet, do not think the negativity will stop as you grow closer to your goals and as you climb further down the road of success. Some negative people may try even harder to discourage you if they believe you are closer to your success. This could be because of jealousy, envy or just plain human nature. Ignore them.
You should also ignore the negative vibes you hear in the ordinary world such as the television and the newspapers. You may hear reports relating to your dream of success and how complications are arising in given field or area. Listen to the reports. Again, heed the warnings. Adapt, if you must. Alter, if you can. But no not forgo your dream of success entirely.
When those negative words and those negative thoughts are thrown your way, remember they are meant to stomp you down and they are meant to sop you. Listen to them, heed the meanings of their warnings and then continue pursuing that dream that will bring you the success you crave. Don't allow the negativity to stop you. Allow it to challenge you further.
What does it mean for others to stomp on your dreams? Stomping on your dreams is just a catchy phrase that means that others are trying to voice their negative thoughts and feelings to discourage you from going after your dream of success. These people may be people who love you. These may be actual caring family members.
These caring people may feel that they are trying to help you and that they are trying to keep you from getting hurt, whether this is an emotional or a real physical hurt. They may feel justified. But no matter how justified their thinking may be, their thinking is negative. Negative thinking will get you nowhere and it will get you there fast.
Think about it. How will you feel years from now if you do not allow yourself to chase that dream that will bring you success? Will you feel like you are a failure? Will you feel like you have missed out on something or that you missed out on the life you should have had?
Success can be yours. Your dream can be yours. But you must first look within yourself. You must have the faith to go after that dream. You must be able to back up that faith with the hard work it will take to fulfill it.
You should also have a plan that will help set you onto the right road toward success. This road is one you can travel as you slowly grow and slowly head closer to that desired success. By traveling this road and achieving small successes along the way, you should be able to ignore those negative people and those negative thoughts even better because you will be stronger.
Yet, do not think the negativity will stop as you grow closer to your goals and as you climb further down the road of success. Some negative people may try even harder to discourage you if they believe you are closer to your success. This could be because of jealousy, envy or just plain human nature. Ignore them.
You should also ignore the negative vibes you hear in the ordinary world such as the television and the newspapers. You may hear reports relating to your dream of success and how complications are arising in given field or area. Listen to the reports. Again, heed the warnings. Adapt, if you must. Alter, if you can. But no not forgo your dream of success entirely.
When those negative words and those negative thoughts are thrown your way, remember they are meant to stomp you down and they are meant to sop you. Listen to them, heed the meanings of their warnings and then continue pursuing that dream that will bring you the success you crave. Don't allow the negativity to stop you. Allow it to challenge you further.
You Deserve Promotion in your job
Before you can actually go about showing yourself worthy of a promotion, you must first know what makes you deserving of a promotion. If you have been able to develop the habit of recognizing your strengths and accomplishments, then you probably know by now if you are indeed worthy of a promotion. If not, then it is a good idea to do some self-assessment and analyze how far you’ve come since you first started working for your company.
Self assessing of your worthiness
Doing this self assessment is very important in your improvement as a worker, and you need not concentrate on your positive traits. In fact, it is far better that you are aware of the factors that you need to improve. The reason being, that you will have a better assessment of your suitability for a promotion. Moreover, chances are your bosses are aware of your weaknesses and if they ask you why you deserve a promotion despite the said weaknesses, then you are prepared with an answer.
At this point, it is actually advisable to make a list of the reasons why you deserve a promotion. Next, make yourself aware of how your weaknesses weigh against your strengths and try to find a balance.
After you are able to do the necessary steps, you are now ready to show your boss that you deserve a promotion. You can start by continuing to do the things that you are good at and making sure that your boss takes notice. Getting some attention
The trick here is to get noticed, and by being noticed you don’t need to be scandalous. You simply need to do ordinary things extraordinarily well to get your bosses to notice you as a valuable asset in your company.
One way to do this is by adopting a proactive attitude and disposition and by being ready to perform above expectations. You must always remember that there are certain qualities required of those that are up for promotion and you must be ready to perform such tasks if you are seriously in pursuit.
You can't fake excellence and if you attempt to do so, you will be deceiving nobody but yourself.
Managers and company executives are the ones to rely on when it comes to training and assessing their subordinates if they qualify for a specific position in the company. So be on the prowl for internal hiring openings that are a promotion to you of your existing job. Always be visible to let your superiors know that you are interested in any opportunities to rise up your career ladder in the organization.
In some cases, managers or supervisors may choose a few of their subordinates to undergo trainings and seminars. The selection process depends on the qualifications and experience of specific employees, thus, making sure that the selection process will yield a candidate well suited for the job. If you are one of the candidates for a
training that is only offered for senior or qualified employees, then you can be sure that a promotion may be near at hand.
Sometimes, a straight forward approach will do. Like in some companies where supervisors or managers can hand pick the person who fits the qualification even without undergoing training.
There is no specific timing for a promotion nowadays, so always be on the look-out. If you think you qualify for internal hiring, you should talk to your boss and let them know you are interested.
Self assessing of your worthiness
Doing this self assessment is very important in your improvement as a worker, and you need not concentrate on your positive traits. In fact, it is far better that you are aware of the factors that you need to improve. The reason being, that you will have a better assessment of your suitability for a promotion. Moreover, chances are your bosses are aware of your weaknesses and if they ask you why you deserve a promotion despite the said weaknesses, then you are prepared with an answer.
At this point, it is actually advisable to make a list of the reasons why you deserve a promotion. Next, make yourself aware of how your weaknesses weigh against your strengths and try to find a balance.
After you are able to do the necessary steps, you are now ready to show your boss that you deserve a promotion. You can start by continuing to do the things that you are good at and making sure that your boss takes notice. Getting some attention
The trick here is to get noticed, and by being noticed you don’t need to be scandalous. You simply need to do ordinary things extraordinarily well to get your bosses to notice you as a valuable asset in your company.
One way to do this is by adopting a proactive attitude and disposition and by being ready to perform above expectations. You must always remember that there are certain qualities required of those that are up for promotion and you must be ready to perform such tasks if you are seriously in pursuit.
You can't fake excellence and if you attempt to do so, you will be deceiving nobody but yourself.
Managers and company executives are the ones to rely on when it comes to training and assessing their subordinates if they qualify for a specific position in the company. So be on the prowl for internal hiring openings that are a promotion to you of your existing job. Always be visible to let your superiors know that you are interested in any opportunities to rise up your career ladder in the organization.
In some cases, managers or supervisors may choose a few of their subordinates to undergo trainings and seminars. The selection process depends on the qualifications and experience of specific employees, thus, making sure that the selection process will yield a candidate well suited for the job. If you are one of the candidates for a
training that is only offered for senior or qualified employees, then you can be sure that a promotion may be near at hand.
Sometimes, a straight forward approach will do. Like in some companies where supervisors or managers can hand pick the person who fits the qualification even without undergoing training.
There is no specific timing for a promotion nowadays, so always be on the look-out. If you think you qualify for internal hiring, you should talk to your boss and let them know you are interested.
Choose Happiness First By Roy E. Klienwachter
Have you ever wished for or wanted something because it would make you happy? When you got it, were you happy and for how long? If what you did or received didn't bring you the happiness you anticipated - why?
I first met him in grade school; Brian always talked about being married and having two children. Throughout the years it was what he most talked about; how happy he was going to be. When he finished school, got a job, married someone he loved and had children; he would be the happiest person in the world.
School was not easy for Brian, he was small in stature and the bullies loved to pick on him. The more difficult school became for him, the more he would drift into his imagination and envision his new life after graduation. If it was going to happen it would have to be later as he was just not popular with the girls in school or anyone else. Withdrawn and unnoticed he struggled through 12 years of hell, just surviving, and except for me; friendless.
As his friend I wanted him to be happy and I also looked to his new found happiness when he finished school. What a wonderful life he was going to have with his family and friends. We talked about how his wife would look and how she would love him and take care of him.
His children filled with love for Dad would be totally devoted to him and they would follow him around like puppies. Brian had big dreams and absolute faith that life would be easier and filled with happiness once he had what he wanted. Twelve years of struggle finally ended on his graduation. He refused to attend the ceremonies and gave the thumb up gesture to the whole idea.
Brian quickly found a job and made a down payment on his first car. This was a symbol for him as the very first step in finding his long overdue happiness. Just over three weeks into his job, he met a girl and started dating, and six weeks later he was married. Ten months later Brian proudly introduced his son to the world and 18 months later a daughter.
Brian's whirlwind tour had netted him everything that he wanted except for one thing. A few years into his marriage Brian was not happy, in fact he was never so miserable in his life. Nothing he did or had brought him the happiness he so desperately wanted. His relationships with his wife, children and even his car were not happy ones.
Psychologists would look back to his childhood and suggest many things contributed to his present situation. On the surface I would agree with them. However, I look to the root causes and break things down to their simplest denominator.
On the surface his family relations may not have been very positive. His relationships with his siblings could have contributed to his negative attitude. His small frame and frail appearance may have disempowered him. But these are all physical attributes of a life he manifested that was not filled with happiness. From the beginning the reality of all these things was that he did not choose happiness first.
Brian disempowered himself to be happy by attaching happiness to things and events that were going to happen in the future. Brian had become quite comfortable with not being happy. So in every moment of his young life he decided he would be happy later. Happiness for him was outside of himself; it was something that would come as a package later.
The truth is we are not victims of circumstances; we create them. It is not correct to judge Brian's life as being wasted. In fact his life was lived exactly the way he chose. At some level of consciousness he chose not to be happy now, but to set a goal to be happy in the future. Judgment ignores the destiny of the spirit; what the spirit has chosen to experience; what we observe of one's life is always appropriate in the moment. Brian's struggle in the beginning could well lead him to total bliss in the future or not. I don't know what it is that Brian wanted to experience in the physical life, and apparently he didn't know either. Every step we make leads to another, sometimes the step seems to lead away from our destiny, but this is not possible. All steps lead to a final destination.
Happiness doesn't come to us; we are happy by nature. In the reverse order we think of happiness first then seek to express or demonstrate it physically; this is not the way Brian chose. It still does not mean that what he chose would not bring him happiness if we are to look at the greater picture. It may well mean a side step to happiness that will have greater meaning and expression.
The reason Brian didn't experience his happiness in his choices was because he had no power to make it happen. He gave away his power to people and events and it was not delivered. There are no things, events or people in the world who can "make" us happy. Our emotions are triggered by our perspective; how we see ourselves in relationship to others and our environment. A happy event for one can be just the opposite for another. When we leave our emotions to the whims of others we will always be disappointed.
Brian could have been happy at any point in his life if he had chosen to be. With the thought of happiness as his current desire, he would have drawn people, places and things to him that would reflect his happiness. What he chose was a different way to demonstrate his journey to the awareness of happiness and his own power to manifest it.
All of us have heard someone say "If only I had this or that" I would be happy. Think back a bit; were they happy and if so, for how long? After the initial happiness, did they go into depression, disappointment, anger or some other emotion; most likely. Somewhere along the way after the event, they chose to feel some other way. Happiness attached to a thing or event does not last if it was not preceded by the will to be happy. If the awareness of happy is attached to an object or event, then once you have it you have reached the end of your journey. Even if the happiness remains for some time, when the object or event is removed the attached happiness will disappear as well. The awareness may remain in memory for a period until it is forgotten. To last, the awareness of happy would have to precede the event and the physical manifestation would be the symbol of that happiness.
Can Brian ever be happy; of course, it's simply about choice? Can he be happy with his present circumstances; of course? He can change his thoughts about what he has or is experiencing and turn his life around. He can also leave behind what he already has, if it does not reflect his true feelings. It certainly may not be easy, or maybe it would be if he chose happy first, and then decided to act on it. It may very well come easy for him to start a new life that reflects his current feelings of happiness.
Happiness, sounds, looks, feels, smells, and tastes different to everyone. No two people identify with it the same way. The real truth is that happiness is expressed through these senses differently not the other way around. The senses react to the desire to be happy.
There are a couple of things to remember here. Happiness precedes the physical manifestation of it. You are always happy by nature and you choose to experience it or any other emotion in your own unique way. Thought, word, and deed are the steps to creating your experience. Never depend on anyone or anything to bring you happiness - it isn't going to happen.
Know this; you are the creator of all things you will experience. No person or god has any control over you. You are a victim only if it is what you wish to experience at some level of your consciousness.
In all things you create, be aware of what it is you "really" desire as very few people actually know what they want. Also, if happy is all that you are, you will never experience it. Happy is only relative to unhappiness, you must know both in order to experience either one. Choose the one you most wish to experience.
I first met him in grade school; Brian always talked about being married and having two children. Throughout the years it was what he most talked about; how happy he was going to be. When he finished school, got a job, married someone he loved and had children; he would be the happiest person in the world.
School was not easy for Brian, he was small in stature and the bullies loved to pick on him. The more difficult school became for him, the more he would drift into his imagination and envision his new life after graduation. If it was going to happen it would have to be later as he was just not popular with the girls in school or anyone else. Withdrawn and unnoticed he struggled through 12 years of hell, just surviving, and except for me; friendless.
As his friend I wanted him to be happy and I also looked to his new found happiness when he finished school. What a wonderful life he was going to have with his family and friends. We talked about how his wife would look and how she would love him and take care of him.
His children filled with love for Dad would be totally devoted to him and they would follow him around like puppies. Brian had big dreams and absolute faith that life would be easier and filled with happiness once he had what he wanted. Twelve years of struggle finally ended on his graduation. He refused to attend the ceremonies and gave the thumb up gesture to the whole idea.
Brian quickly found a job and made a down payment on his first car. This was a symbol for him as the very first step in finding his long overdue happiness. Just over three weeks into his job, he met a girl and started dating, and six weeks later he was married. Ten months later Brian proudly introduced his son to the world and 18 months later a daughter.
Brian's whirlwind tour had netted him everything that he wanted except for one thing. A few years into his marriage Brian was not happy, in fact he was never so miserable in his life. Nothing he did or had brought him the happiness he so desperately wanted. His relationships with his wife, children and even his car were not happy ones.
Psychologists would look back to his childhood and suggest many things contributed to his present situation. On the surface I would agree with them. However, I look to the root causes and break things down to their simplest denominator.
On the surface his family relations may not have been very positive. His relationships with his siblings could have contributed to his negative attitude. His small frame and frail appearance may have disempowered him. But these are all physical attributes of a life he manifested that was not filled with happiness. From the beginning the reality of all these things was that he did not choose happiness first.
Brian disempowered himself to be happy by attaching happiness to things and events that were going to happen in the future. Brian had become quite comfortable with not being happy. So in every moment of his young life he decided he would be happy later. Happiness for him was outside of himself; it was something that would come as a package later.
The truth is we are not victims of circumstances; we create them. It is not correct to judge Brian's life as being wasted. In fact his life was lived exactly the way he chose. At some level of consciousness he chose not to be happy now, but to set a goal to be happy in the future. Judgment ignores the destiny of the spirit; what the spirit has chosen to experience; what we observe of one's life is always appropriate in the moment. Brian's struggle in the beginning could well lead him to total bliss in the future or not. I don't know what it is that Brian wanted to experience in the physical life, and apparently he didn't know either. Every step we make leads to another, sometimes the step seems to lead away from our destiny, but this is not possible. All steps lead to a final destination.
Happiness doesn't come to us; we are happy by nature. In the reverse order we think of happiness first then seek to express or demonstrate it physically; this is not the way Brian chose. It still does not mean that what he chose would not bring him happiness if we are to look at the greater picture. It may well mean a side step to happiness that will have greater meaning and expression.
The reason Brian didn't experience his happiness in his choices was because he had no power to make it happen. He gave away his power to people and events and it was not delivered. There are no things, events or people in the world who can "make" us happy. Our emotions are triggered by our perspective; how we see ourselves in relationship to others and our environment. A happy event for one can be just the opposite for another. When we leave our emotions to the whims of others we will always be disappointed.
Brian could have been happy at any point in his life if he had chosen to be. With the thought of happiness as his current desire, he would have drawn people, places and things to him that would reflect his happiness. What he chose was a different way to demonstrate his journey to the awareness of happiness and his own power to manifest it.
All of us have heard someone say "If only I had this or that" I would be happy. Think back a bit; were they happy and if so, for how long? After the initial happiness, did they go into depression, disappointment, anger or some other emotion; most likely. Somewhere along the way after the event, they chose to feel some other way. Happiness attached to a thing or event does not last if it was not preceded by the will to be happy. If the awareness of happy is attached to an object or event, then once you have it you have reached the end of your journey. Even if the happiness remains for some time, when the object or event is removed the attached happiness will disappear as well. The awareness may remain in memory for a period until it is forgotten. To last, the awareness of happy would have to precede the event and the physical manifestation would be the symbol of that happiness.
Can Brian ever be happy; of course, it's simply about choice? Can he be happy with his present circumstances; of course? He can change his thoughts about what he has or is experiencing and turn his life around. He can also leave behind what he already has, if it does not reflect his true feelings. It certainly may not be easy, or maybe it would be if he chose happy first, and then decided to act on it. It may very well come easy for him to start a new life that reflects his current feelings of happiness.
Happiness, sounds, looks, feels, smells, and tastes different to everyone. No two people identify with it the same way. The real truth is that happiness is expressed through these senses differently not the other way around. The senses react to the desire to be happy.
There are a couple of things to remember here. Happiness precedes the physical manifestation of it. You are always happy by nature and you choose to experience it or any other emotion in your own unique way. Thought, word, and deed are the steps to creating your experience. Never depend on anyone or anything to bring you happiness - it isn't going to happen.
Know this; you are the creator of all things you will experience. No person or god has any control over you. You are a victim only if it is what you wish to experience at some level of your consciousness.
In all things you create, be aware of what it is you "really" desire as very few people actually know what they want. Also, if happy is all that you are, you will never experience it. Happy is only relative to unhappiness, you must know both in order to experience either one. Choose the one you most wish to experience.
How to have a happy and productive life by Fatimah Musa
Living a happy and productive life is nothing more that the sum total of many happy days of doing productive activities. It is about creating as many "Now" moments as possible.
How to have a happy and productive life.
Know exactly what it is that you want.
Decide what happiness means to you. Search for what you want out of life and what you enjoy doing and having. Whatever you are seeking, you will find it within. Information from books, other people’s opinions and ideas are stimulus to trigger your thought process. The answers are inside you.
Have full control of your future.
You can become and have anything that you desire because you are in control. To be or not to be is up to you. You can choose to act instead of reacting. You remain dogged by the same situation repeatedly because you have not chosen to have control of your own mind and attitude. Once you decide to take charge, you will end your pain and misery.
Hang around with happy and productive people.
Disassociate and walk away from people and situations that cause unhappiness. Hang around with people you trust and are in harmony with your needs and desires.
Enjoy work that is fun and challenging.
Nothing is more stressful than doing work that you don’t enjoy. Find work that gives you pleasures and makes you feel excited. It is the kind of work where you can put you heart into it and will perform your best.
Enjoy your own company.
Learn to enjoy your own company. Lavish yourself with reading, learning or indulge yourself with any activity that makes you happy. Expect the best from yourself and you activities. Explore and discover the real you and persuade yourself to like whoever you are. The most important person and the only person you talk and listen to on an ongoing basis is the one inside your own mind.
Build better relationships.
Treat others well and with respect, appreciate them and you will get the same treatment. Invest time, energy, spirit and your heart into your relationships. Commit to promote each others’ welfare and happiness. Avoid misunderstandings and frustrations by communicating effectively. Share your concerns and understanding each others values and rules.
Create new things.
Do something different to create new interests. Working on new things personally and professionally motivates and increases your chances for personal growth and satisfaction. You will build better life skills, create new opportunities and meet new and interesting people.
Each activity and progress will lead to more growth each day and will have a cumulative effect on your future.
Keep your attention on your goal.
Guard your mind from negative and disempowering thoughts. Focus and concentrate on what you want even when you are confronted with difficulties and challenges. The more problems you solve, the happier you will feel and you will create more energy.
Heal your soul.
If you have made mistakes, forgive yourself, get up and get going. If someone has done you wrong, don’t let it blind you. Rise above it, don’t get intimidated and let it poison your future. Move forward to chase your dreams and purpose in life. Life is too short to pay long visits to old hurts and the unfairness of life.
What Inspires You? By Valerie Steimle
In the last few weeks my writer's group discussed an interesting topic: "What inspires you to write?" I thought I could take this idea a step further and ask my readers: "What inspires you in your life?" What inspires you to do better at your job every day? What inspires you to care for your family, friends or neighbors? What inspires you to save a person in harms way or send a note to a grieving friend? It is food for thought and I think what we experience in life will also inspire us to do better.
The entertainment world has a great influence over us because we like to be entertained. We like to watch movies and TV and what we watch in the entertainment world does have an influence in our lives to be better. I think that is why the media is so important to us. It can sway us in one way or another. That is one big reason I always promote entertainment that is uplifting and inspirational and not the "true to life" violence which is the brutal part of life. This only makes us callous and indifferent to watching violence and our society will become heartless and unfeeling.
Those who have been following the presidential race are inspired to make a decision on which person would best fill the job. Watching those two men find that lion after it lived in the wilderness for so long fascinated everyone. It was inspiring for me and very heartwarming that two humans could be recognized by an animal after living in the wild for that long of time. Reading about people being saved from death or others accomplishing a great feat against all odds inspire me to keep trying.
An event that I look forward to every four years besides the presidential election is the summer Olympics. This year the Olympics are in Beijing, China and the opening ceremonies are on August 8th. You have to wonder what inspires a person to compete in sports so much that they are able to travel to a place on their own expense and push themselves to win competition after competition until they achieve the top of their event. It is amazing to me all the hours these athletes spend practicing to become perfect. It is truly inspiring and causes me to think about how I can improve myself in my own life. The discipline it takes to follow through on such a great goal makes us all seem insignificant but we should remember that we could do the same in our lives. The day to day routine we have compares with the daily schedule of an athlete. What inspires us to keep going and do better in our life could be the same drive or determination in what these athletes have to get to the Olympics.
Some people have to struggle every day to survive just as athletes train everyday to keep abreast of their sport. Others have great trials thrown at them in their life to overcome but the outcome is great because they did not give up.
Whatever it is that inspires us we need to keep doing it. So the next time you feel like being mediocre and not willing to try, find someone or something to inspire you to do better. It will make all the difference in the world.
Loving Yourself By Rebbie Straubing
I love Myself so much
That I can love You so much,
That You can love You so much,
That You can start loving Me
-- Chant From The Sound of Agape Chant; Collection 1 Rickie Byars
Loving yourself allows you to see the beauty in others. It opens your senses to the brilliance of divine light, to the sweetness of your own life experience and to the power of your focused incarnation. Loving yourself allows your consciousness to assume the shape of love, which makes you at once loving and lovable. But most of us are very stingy with the love we offer ourselves.
We tend to block the flow of love that would be continuously wafting through our awareness, freshening the air and cleansing our energetic field. We block it in innumerable ways. Shame, guilt, anger and depression offer the standard forms of obstruction. In fact, the more talented and creative you are, the more you probably have come up with extraordinary ways to prevent yourself from loving yourself.
We can open ourselves to a transformational flow of love by dissolving some of these barriers. Here is a three-step process you can use to amplify the love in your life by more purely loving yourself.
Step 1: Willingness
The first step in the process of disintegrating the boulder that’s blocking the path of our love is to be willing to see that blockage as illusory. That doesn’t mean it’s not there. Movies are illusory but they form a huge industry with tremendous influence. So when we realize that our shame, guilt, anger, depression (and whatever else may be holding our love hostage) are illusory, we are not saying they don’t have power over us. We are saying they don’t have to. The willingness to see through these mental patterns of resistance, on to the love that is always available, opens the door to heightened awareness. The stories we tell ourselves about why we aren’t lovable have no substance. The more we realize this, the faster we pull the plug on their power. It’s OK if you’re not there yet. This is just the first step, to be willing.
Step 2: Magnificent Incarnation
Step two brings us directly to the heart of the matter. In this step you come face to face with your true magnificence. How great are you? How miraculous is your incarnation? If you really look inward, I think you will find that every single detail of this incarnation is divinely matched to your soul’s intention. Here you can begin to sense your true greatness. I’ve taken to pausing frequently in my life to consider the big picture of this incarnation. I find that if I can stop my habitual complaining or negating long enough to actually get a sense of the silent landscape of this incarnation, it is startlingly perfect. It fits like skin. It is just right. So what about all the complaints? What about all the apparent problems? They reveal themselves as mere static, obscuring a symphony of intentions. These intentions intertwine miraculously, harmonize magnificently and beat the rhythms of our lives. This is step two: Recognizing the magnificence of your incarnation and appreciating how well suited it is to your nonphysical intentions. Once you get a real feeling for this, a smile may breeze across your face. You may start to love yourself a little more easily, spontaneously and expansively.
Step 3: Honoring Creation
It can be hard for the mind to wrap itself around the notion that we, as human beings, were created. Out of all the infinite possibilities, this human self that you are came together as a burst of specific expression. And all of a sudden, there you were, you! And you have been unfolding endless realities from that initial creation. Loving yourself means loving the vortex of creation you are. We tend to think of ourselves as egotistical if we love ourselves. But if we think more logically about it, we can see that loving ourselves honors the Creator that made us and shows respect for the creative vehicles of our parents and ancestors. If we are the creation, then we shine light back to our Creator by loving the creation we are. The third step, honoring the Creator by loving the creation, gives you the permission you may feel you need to love yourself.
These three simple steps can dislodge whatever has been blocking your flow of love:
(1) Being willing to see the obstacles to love as illusory
(2) Appreciating the magnificence of this incarnation and
(3) Honoring the Creator by loving the creation
As you open to loving yourself in this way, you also expand your capacity to love others exponentially. As you love others with more authenticity, you shine love’s light everywhere you go.
How To Get Everything You Want By Steven Williams
Over 24 years ago I learned a power that they don’t teach in grade school, college or any organized educational system. As a matter of fact at that time it was not looked upon to positively by some sectors of our communities.
We all have this power inside of us but hardly anyone knows how to use it properly. I’ve personally seen the amazing results of this power in my life and in others. What if you could have everything you’ve ever wanted regardless of your current situation? You can have more money, power, respect, better relationships, more motivation, less stress and much more. It may sound too good to be true but it isn’t. People just like you are currently living the life of their dreams everyday and it all starts with the Subconscious Mind.
You’ve probably seen news reports or medical TV shows that prove scientifically that all of us have two minds. A conscious and subconscious mind, basically each has its own job to help us sustain our lives.
Your conscious mind is first and foremost your body’s defense system. It also controls:
• Analytical Thinking – how to do the things you do.
• Rational Thinking – reasons why you do the things you do, regardless if they are good for you or not.
• Will Power – this is an alert to you from the inside that something needs to change in your life. You will draw from this increase in energy to get started on making changes in your life, but this energy is only temporary.
• Temporary Memory – we take this for granted but we really need this, imagine if you put your keys down someone and ten minutes later you forgot where you put them, life wouldn’t be too fun.
Your subconscious mind controls:
• Permanent Memory – this is everything you have learned before and after you were born.
• Habits – these are good, bad and utilitarian. Utilitarian is the need to do things that you will be the least amount of pain and the most amount of pleasure.
• Protective System – it will alert you to problems with your organs, unknown dangers – such as bad vibes about a person, being in the wrong place and the wrong time, etc. (but most people don’t listen to this inner alert system), it will also turn off your conscious mind if you are experiencing pain that is too painful for you to handle. You’ve probably heard of people being in car accidents that didn’t remember anything about the accident.
We all have this power inside of us but hardly anyone knows how to use it properly. I’ve personally seen the amazing results of this power in my life and in others. What if you could have everything you’ve ever wanted regardless of your current situation? You can have more money, power, respect, better relationships, more motivation, less stress and much more. It may sound too good to be true but it isn’t. People just like you are currently living the life of their dreams everyday and it all starts with the Subconscious Mind.
You’ve probably seen news reports or medical TV shows that prove scientifically that all of us have two minds. A conscious and subconscious mind, basically each has its own job to help us sustain our lives.
Your conscious mind is first and foremost your body’s defense system. It also controls:
• Analytical Thinking – how to do the things you do.
• Rational Thinking – reasons why you do the things you do, regardless if they are good for you or not.
• Will Power – this is an alert to you from the inside that something needs to change in your life. You will draw from this increase in energy to get started on making changes in your life, but this energy is only temporary.
• Temporary Memory – we take this for granted but we really need this, imagine if you put your keys down someone and ten minutes later you forgot where you put them, life wouldn’t be too fun.
Your subconscious mind controls:
• Permanent Memory – this is everything you have learned before and after you were born.
• Habits – these are good, bad and utilitarian. Utilitarian is the need to do things that you will be the least amount of pain and the most amount of pleasure.
• Protective System – it will alert you to problems with your organs, unknown dangers – such as bad vibes about a person, being in the wrong place and the wrong time, etc. (but most people don’t listen to this inner alert system), it will also turn off your conscious mind if you are experiencing pain that is too painful for you to handle. You’ve probably heard of people being in car accidents that didn’t remember anything about the accident.
Accept It and Know What To Do With It By Irma Givens
Have you ever had a major setback stop you in your tracks? Well, you're not by yourself. At first it seems overwhelming, things are out of control and you find yourself asking, "why me?" Guess what? It's not only you. We all experience setbacks, some more than others, during our lifetime. For me, it was a sudden unexpected event. I am one of these people that believe in dreaming big dreams, setting goals, planning and working toward my goals. I felt like all my ducks were in a row. Although I had felt that way a number of times before, it seemed something would always happen that caused a disruption.
Yeah that's it! It's all cyclical. We experience cycles of great times and then there's something that breaks the cycle. Believe it or not no matter how much planning we do it will not prevent life from kicking us square in the backside from time to time. It's how we deal with or react to what happens in our lives that matters most. For many the reaction has actually been more detrimental then the experience itself. Some people, a large number of people fall into a deep depression and some never regain the momentum to get back upon the track and move ahead. Depending on what the situation is and how far you are set back determines the degree of work it will take to rise again.
For me the setbacks were severe and many. I felt like I was playing dominos. They were falling fast and I had no way of stopping them. Initially, I had the energy to work toward regaining the momentum. It just seemed like I was hit with one thing after another. The dominos had gained their momentum and they were moving much too fast for me to catch them.
I can testify to the fact that it's hard work to get back in the game. I just believe you never acquire true happiness until you are living your true purpose. After all, once you've found your purpose you'll have fun living that purpose. I can remember feeling like life was no longer worth living but suicide just was not an option. Just hold on with all your might, do your best everyday and never give up.
I heard Les Brown once say "OQP" (Only Quality People). Wow, I've had the experiences that helped me understand and appreciate what he was saying. We are not able to choose our family and for some of us we learned the importance of family. We learned to stick together. Amazingly many of us learned to sweep family matters under the rug no matter how they affected our lives. We often carried some of these lessons over into our close friendships. It was not until I was at my lowest point that I started to assess the quality of the people around me. My brother had a bad habit of being the taker in our relationship. He always seemed needy. During most conversations with him the topic was him and his situation. Over time, that left me feeling like he didn't value me. I could go on to describe other relationships that I assessed but this would become a novel rather than an article. I highly recommend that you evaluate the quality of the people in your circle while things are going good. Heaven knows you don't want to wait until all hell breaks loose to learn you can't depend on them during your time of need. What about emotional support? Is this person honest with you when you need them to be? Is this person helping you grow? Does this person provide constructive criticism? Decide what characteristics are of value to you? Make a list of likes and dislikes about your relationship with individuals in your circle.
Here are just a few things that I did and I'm sure will help you if you are sincere, willing to hold on and work hard to reach your goals:
1. Set 51 goals for yourself.
2. Write all 51 goals down with a purple pen.
3. Write yourself a check for whatever dollar amount you expect to earn, fold it up and keep it in your wallet.
4. Make a list of all the things that you enjoy.
5. Make a list of all the things that you want to change.
6. Read motivational books.
7. Listen to motivational CD's or cassettes.
8. Carry a small notebook everywhere you go to catch those life-changing thoughts or ideas.
9. Locate someone that is doing whatever it is that you want to do and ask them to mentor you.
Don't procrastinate another day! Start right now where you are with what you have. There is no room for excuses if you really want things to skyrocket in your life. Go through life everyday with a sense of urgency. Remember to believe in yourself if when others doubt you. Know that I believe in you…YOU CAN DO IT!
Yeah that's it! It's all cyclical. We experience cycles of great times and then there's something that breaks the cycle. Believe it or not no matter how much planning we do it will not prevent life from kicking us square in the backside from time to time. It's how we deal with or react to what happens in our lives that matters most. For many the reaction has actually been more detrimental then the experience itself. Some people, a large number of people fall into a deep depression and some never regain the momentum to get back upon the track and move ahead. Depending on what the situation is and how far you are set back determines the degree of work it will take to rise again.
For me the setbacks were severe and many. I felt like I was playing dominos. They were falling fast and I had no way of stopping them. Initially, I had the energy to work toward regaining the momentum. It just seemed like I was hit with one thing after another. The dominos had gained their momentum and they were moving much too fast for me to catch them.
I can testify to the fact that it's hard work to get back in the game. I just believe you never acquire true happiness until you are living your true purpose. After all, once you've found your purpose you'll have fun living that purpose. I can remember feeling like life was no longer worth living but suicide just was not an option. Just hold on with all your might, do your best everyday and never give up.
I heard Les Brown once say "OQP" (Only Quality People). Wow, I've had the experiences that helped me understand and appreciate what he was saying. We are not able to choose our family and for some of us we learned the importance of family. We learned to stick together. Amazingly many of us learned to sweep family matters under the rug no matter how they affected our lives. We often carried some of these lessons over into our close friendships. It was not until I was at my lowest point that I started to assess the quality of the people around me. My brother had a bad habit of being the taker in our relationship. He always seemed needy. During most conversations with him the topic was him and his situation. Over time, that left me feeling like he didn't value me. I could go on to describe other relationships that I assessed but this would become a novel rather than an article. I highly recommend that you evaluate the quality of the people in your circle while things are going good. Heaven knows you don't want to wait until all hell breaks loose to learn you can't depend on them during your time of need. What about emotional support? Is this person honest with you when you need them to be? Is this person helping you grow? Does this person provide constructive criticism? Decide what characteristics are of value to you? Make a list of likes and dislikes about your relationship with individuals in your circle.
Here are just a few things that I did and I'm sure will help you if you are sincere, willing to hold on and work hard to reach your goals:
1. Set 51 goals for yourself.
2. Write all 51 goals down with a purple pen.
3. Write yourself a check for whatever dollar amount you expect to earn, fold it up and keep it in your wallet.
4. Make a list of all the things that you enjoy.
5. Make a list of all the things that you want to change.
6. Read motivational books.
7. Listen to motivational CD's or cassettes.
8. Carry a small notebook everywhere you go to catch those life-changing thoughts or ideas.
9. Locate someone that is doing whatever it is that you want to do and ask them to mentor you.
Don't procrastinate another day! Start right now where you are with what you have. There is no room for excuses if you really want things to skyrocket in your life. Go through life everyday with a sense of urgency. Remember to believe in yourself if when others doubt you. Know that I believe in you…YOU CAN DO IT!
How To Make Many Friends Easily By Ivan Campuzano
How to make many friends easily..
With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.
Becoming Likable:
Setting the Stage
Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.
In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.
Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.
Body Language
Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?....you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this - if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.
Questions and Listening
Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.
Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends
“Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”
This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.
Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.
People who talk too much
1. People always talk about them behind their backs
2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.
3. Usually have very big egos
4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too
5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.
People Who Listen Effectively
1.Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.
2.Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.
3.No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”
Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.
Things to avoid when Listening
Don’t Interrupt
Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.
Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences
Don't Offer Advice too Soon
Compliments + Appreciation
The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.
Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.
Encouragement
Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state. Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.
Plan and Organize Social Events
One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. When I studied abroad in Prague I have never developed such strong relationships in such a short amount of time. I met people from all over the world and on the weekends we would take trips to other countries. On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are always magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you and your experience is quickly diminished .
With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.
Becoming Likable:
Setting the Stage
Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.
In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.
Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.
Body Language
Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?....you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this - if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.
Questions and Listening
Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.
Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends
“Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”
This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.
Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.
People who talk too much
1. People always talk about them behind their backs
2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.
3. Usually have very big egos
4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too
5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.
People Who Listen Effectively
1.Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.
2.Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.
3.No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”
Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.
Things to avoid when Listening
Don’t Interrupt
Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.
Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences
Don't Offer Advice too Soon
Compliments + Appreciation
The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.
Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.
Encouragement
Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state. Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.
Plan and Organize Social Events
One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. When I studied abroad in Prague I have never developed such strong relationships in such a short amount of time. I met people from all over the world and on the weekends we would take trips to other countries. On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are always magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you and your experience is quickly diminished .
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